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anger management & self-esteem problems?

Hi everybody. well, i think i have some anger management problems and also some self-esteem problems although i have lots of friends that likes me and everybody tells me that i’m physically beautiful. i guess the origion of these problems is that i do not have what everybody calls the ‘perfect’ family. i would like to see a therapist for that, but i cant talk to my parents about that because mom cant keep a secret she brings out all my flaws in the middle of a fight or something not caring about who is around and so does dad, besides, they are famous people in our community and they think only crazy people go to therapist that is why they will refuse to let me go in case the therapist recognized me as their daughter :(
so if anybody here can give me a couple of pieces of advice that will actually work i would really appreciate it. it will mean alot to me. thanks :)

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5 Responses to “anger management & self-esteem problems?”

  1. Paul Anthony F May 23, 2014 at 2:37 pm #

    I’ll be honest with you I dint read youfull question it just prompted me to say that if you do defend yourself and get angry it ceratianly dosen’t mean you have low self esteem , quite the opposite I would think.
    In England there is quite enough of the controlled effort to reduce peoples self esteem be it at work particularly and in social life somewhat .
    I would say if your intuition tells you to get angry do so , thier probably winding you up . Its a national passtime because peole genreraly have low self esteem its endemic , but dont catch it
    Of course they’ll say ”your paraniod I didnt mean that , or I was only joking , Blast them they wontbe ” Only joking the next time , because thy probably wont want to try it again

  2. r.e.i.g.n. May 23, 2014 at 2:48 pm #

    i had parents like yours too, and it’s making me sick!!!
    managing your anger? try to calm down and breathe slowly if you get mad…
    and if your parents are sometimes in a fight, you have 2 options:
    – just avoid the trouble and go away ’till they make up
    – help to settle this problem, it’s time to tell ‘em what you think! you don’t wanna be blamed and stepped on right??

    i’ve done the second option for sometimes, but not more than the first… why do parents have to blame their children when they fight?? are they still immature??? they make me SICK!!!!

    hope i could help you…

  3. abdiver12 May 23, 2014 at 3:32 pm #

    I’ve found that the best way to deal with anger and low self esteem is to change your attitude towards life. You have these problems because you think of certain things as horrible or unacceptable (maybe even yourself?) and suffer anger, hostility, and low self esteem as a result. You’ve got to change your attitude and your world will change too. So what’s the best attitude to have you may ask? Well here’s one that may sound a little weird, but take it from me, an OCD and depression sufferer, it works quite well! Think of all things as perfection and part of the natural world. No matter what it is or what happens, welcome all things with open arms. It may sound insane but what happens is that when you embrace all things around you, no matter how terrible or horrendous, your brain no longer finds it possible to experience anger, fear, or self hatred. How can you be angry or hateful or afraid if you think of all things as perfect? Take it from me, an OCD sufferer, the fear, anger, and depression have subsided immensely with this philosophy! And I’m currently working on actually proving that all things are indeed perfect based on Einstein’s theory E=MC2. Change your attitude and you change the world. Its a fact!

    “Its attitude, not aptitude, that determines altitude.”

  4. damsel in distress May 23, 2014 at 3:56 pm #

    i think the best solution is to accept things as they r instead of expecting them as u wish them to be.
    nothing is perfect in this world so neither is ur parents just accept them as they r n try to be happy with that . dont ve high expectations from others u usually suffer from anger when people dont behave in the way u expect them to be.
    so stop ving big expectations n u will be ur happy self.
    if u want to consult a therapist u can go there by urself if u r above 18 they cant stop u

    gud luck

  5. Silver Monkey May 23, 2014 at 4:55 pm #

    Yeah I get a lot of all that, but it’s mostly taken care of. I started taking kick-boxing classes a couple years back (when I had some SERIOUS rage issues), for anger management, you have to blow your energy into something that’ll make you better (better person, better personality, whatever counts to you). For me it was the ‘fight club’ concept, i’m a cool, calm and composed guy now because I used all my energy into beating up a person wearing body protection gear (there’s no guilt in beating someone up who isn’t getting hurt). If kick-boxing isn’t for you (I really doubt it is), try something like dance classes (Personally I gotta find me a place where I can learn salsa for cheap :D). Another approach to anger management is spending time in a bad situation with people who’ve really had a bad time (not bad people though, spending time with them will just turn out crappy), it helps you look at the bigger picture, things won’t bother you as much. Self-esteem, it comes with the mood, you just gotta learn to not care, it can be very sexy as long as it doesn’t come off as arrogant or over done. our parents are similar i suppose, do they pick on you after they have a fight? find fault in what you’re doing no matter what you do? Avoid these situations, since you’re the ‘kid’ your opinion really wouldn’t count, depends on your age really, if you earn something at least they’ll pretend to hear you :D. If they’re trying to pick on you, do something that won’t get them more pissed, or just go to sleep. but remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect family, think how dreary that would be! don’t worry about your flaws darling, perfection is intimidating. Your parents got reputation issues yeah? Fine, grab a couple of buddies you trust and go for the therapy thing yourself, if you can’t afford, seek help from good friends (don’t bother loan sharks). And about your self-esteem, don’t give a damn. If people don’t love you for what you are don’t bother trying to make them happy (unless you seriously want to be with someone).

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